Never To Yield Foundation (My Response)

This is an open letter to the writer of the article that appeared on the Never To Yield Foundation's website yesterday afternoon. The article was titled, "The Cult Of Updyke: When The So-Called Exceptions Become The Rule"

I was on my way to work when I was notified by phone of the article. An Auburn buddy of mine told me of the story and that I was mentioned in it. So I pulled to the side of the road and read it. My first thought was that you obviously had put alot of time into it. Then I got a little mad at some of the insults thrown at Bama fans. But as a fair minded individual, I tried to see things from your perspective.

I must admit that you are right about a few things

Several months ago, I would've bristled at the assertion that the Alabama fanbase, as a whole, can be painted with such a broad brush. But as I thought about it, maybe you have some points

It is true that many Tide fans have embraced Harvey Updyke. Hell, I'm Facebook friends with him myself, and he and I talk from time to time. I find him to be an interesting, humorous, fairly decent dude. That made a mistake. Allegedly. But nevermind his guilt or innocence. That is not the point.

The point is that most of us are so quick to shout at the top of our lungs that we are NOT LIKE HARVEY! And then, five minutes later we laugh with our friends about what he supposedly did, or as I have done myself, have a chat with the guy.

So we find it pretty damn funny that a dude could be so "full of Bama" or passionate about this stuff, that he would want to poison some trees. As ridiculous as the actual act is, I admit that I find it to be hilarious

That's not to say I would ever have done such a thing myself. There really is a difference between being able to empathize with someone or finding what they did to be funny, and actually being the type of person to do it yourself

Obviously, from your basement it's hard for you to differentiate between such things.

I would like to ask this, though. How am I still on your mind? It has been 6 freaking months since SEC Media Days. Alot has happened since then. Alabama lost a regular season game and still got to play the team they lost to again. And they won. Remember that? Yes, I know you do. And it KILLS YOU, doesn't it?

It must.

I know it would kill me if I were to have to witness my rival win a National Championship one year. Then answer right back with a National Championship of my own. AND MY FIRST IN OVER 50 YEARS!!!! And then have to watch them say, "Oh yeah, well we'll just do it again!!!"

Sandwiching your rival's one title on either side of two of your own is a very big brother thing to do, wouldn't you say? Well, you probably wouldn't SAY that, even as much as I'm sure you know it, because your pride and misplaced arrogance would never allow you to admit to Bama's greatness. But nothing you can say or do, no amount of retarded lies and propaganda that you can post on your cute little website, none of that can take away the facts and what you have to live with every day

You label me as someone who doesn't know how to keep a rivalry in perspective, and well, you're actually right on that one. But you say we are much more obsessed with hating Auburn than we are with just loving Alabama. You assume that we will just believe that you are not the same way.

Despite the fact that the very writing that you put out there clearly shows the opposite. How obsessed are you? You long-winded, deflecting Barner. How do you even see with that plank in your own eye. How did you even navigate your way to your laptop with all the bullshit piling up around you?

But back to me for a second. Man, I really got in your head, didn't I? And all I had to do was wear a T-Shirt. To a hotel. In Birmingham. I didn't even have to show up in Auburn and spit on anyone. Didn't have to slap any old ladies or cuss at any women. I wish I had known years ago that this was all it took for me to live in your little mind for almost 7 months.

How am I not old news? What have I said or done ANYWHERE in the last several months that would've warranted being included in this article? Nothing at all

What did I even do in the FIRST place to be lumped in with accused criminals? Nothing at all

All I did was wear a shirt that conveyed my feelings for the team that is the chief rival of the team I love

So I know that you must have me bookmarked on your browser there. That's obvious, because nothing has been recent enough for you to have involved me in this. You have obviously been stewing since July over the fact that some forklift operator, who never even darkened the doorstep of a college classroom, would have the GALL to disrespect such a fine institution as Auburn.

Since you are so awesome at making assumptions about people, and an entire fanbase, I know you must have plenty of assumptions about me. I've seen more than my fair share of asinine things said about me in the past few months. So let me take a crack at a few facts that might surprise you

First off, I don't live in a trailer. My apartment, that I share with my wife and two roommates is actually quite nice

I don't drive an old car, or a truck of any kind. My 2011 model automobile wasn't even manufactured in the US

Since you probably think I'm such a redneck, I know it would surprise you to also learn the CD that is currently being played in the CD player of my car this week: Biggie Smalls: Ready To Die

And I'm quite certain you would never take me for an Obama supporter, but come November I plan on casting my vote for his re-election. You really should try something else. You're not very good at judging people and making broad assumptions

Oh, and

ROLL DAMN TIDE